What if your dream could be my dream

You have a dream
to own a bigger house
a bigger space to accommodate
each and every member of your family

If only I've choose to have that kind of life
like everybody else

with normal working hours that will have a scheduled pay check day
a job where Chinese called tie fan wan, the golden bowl
and for my hours after work
I would spend time on building an ideal body shape
like most of the friends of my age do

If only I could had my dream about travel the world
or lucky enough to meet someone special
and maybe we could work really hard to achieve our dream together

If only I've chose to be their ideal daughter 
maybe I could make them less worry as they are now

I know I'm not a failure 
you told me that too
But I'm not an ideal daughter
that you always dream of 
when you started your life journey long ago

Day by day
I pray to god
please for once
let your dreams come true

But then seems like asking that is too much from life
but please at least
let them be safe and healthy
until the day I make them proud again

Dear father and mother

I'm so sorry